Geeks and Jokes
by Little Octopus
Summary: Alfred is afraid of ghosts and Arthur knows it. But Arthur is a jerk. Sassy!Arthur and Sissy!Alfred. USUK


**Happy April Fools!**

Alfred stirred awake and blinked into the stream of early spring light pouring through the opened window. He yawned and winced at the gross taste in his mouth from sleeping for eight hours straight. He threw an arm out, looking for a warm body beside him. When his arm connected with cool sheets, Alfred sat up and gazed sleepily around the room. "Arthur?" he called, arching his back and stretching.

When he received no reply, Alfred listened for the sound of the shower. No. Was Arthur cooking? Damn it all, if he burned through one more pot, Alfred was going to lose it and make Arthur clean the house. Wait, that could be disastrous. Especially if the Englishman found Alfred's stash of the pictures he took of Arthur while the blond was preoccupied.

Jumping out of his cocoon of sheets, Alfred darted out of the room, not caring if he was only in his underwear. "Arthur!" he called, padding down the hall. He couldn't have gone shopping, Arthur never went alone. He hadn't told Alfred he had a date with his friends. Fear started to curl in Alfred's stomach.

Returning back to their room, Alfred swiped up his phone and found it dead. "Wha-?" he mumbled. He could swear he had plugged it in. He tried turning it on. The screen remained black. He picked up the charger to find the cord cut. Feeling his heart beat faster, Alfred set the ruined charger down. Swallowing hard, Alfred left the room. They had no home phone, so he couldn't call Arthur that way.

Maybe next door? Or would they think Alfred was overreacting and acting like a clingy boyfriend? He certainly didn't want to embarrass Arthur. _'He can't be embarrassed if he isn't here.' _Alfred thought, going back to their shared room.

He walked to the dresser, yanking his jean drawer out and grabbing the first pair he saw. While putting them on, he noticed that Arthur's Rockstar necklace was sitting next to a picture of them. Arthur never left home without his necklace. Alfred felt his hands begin to shake. He pulled a on a hoodie and socks and left the room with shoes in hand. He walked down the hall, his heart beating painfully in his chest. Arthur had been sleeping with him just hours ago. How could a 150 pound man disappear like that?

Alfred scanned the living room. Arthur's jacket was still on the hook. Alfred shoved his shoes on and went to the front door. Suddenly, the bedroom door slammed shut, making Alfred startle and look back. The door had never done that before. Even with the windows and front door open. Their bedroom door never closed on its own. Alfred swallowed the lump in his throat. "Hello?" he called, taking a small step back to the room. "Arthur?" he asked. The door creaked back open. Alfred began to tremble. Shit shit shit. There was a ghost in their apartment.

There was a ghost and Arthur was missing. Alfred should not have gotten out of bed. But, maybe the window in their bedroom _was _open. Hesitantly, Alfred tiptoed down the hall. "Be a hero. Be a hero. Be a hero." He chanted to himself as he moved to his room.

When he reached the door, Alfred held his breath. There was going to be a ghost or something in there. He just knew it!

Before he ran out of air, Alfred slammed the door open. He let out a huff when he found that nothing was there.

"What?" He mumbled and took a step in the room.

Taking a glance around, he turned back to the hallway. He almost screamed. Arthur stood on the threshold. His hair matted and dirty, his nightshirt torn, his pale legs were covered in mud and - Alfred gulped - blood.

"A-Arthur?" Alfred whispered, not daring to move.

Arthur raised his head. His face was slack and his eyes were large. Blood coated one side of his face. Slowly, his mouth opened. "A-Al." He managed to choke out. Then he collapsed.

Alfred ran forward and brought the limp man into his arms. "Arthur! Arthur! Wake up! What ha-" giggles burst from Arthur. Alfred blinked. "What? Arthur?"

"I got you!" Arthur chortled. "Y-you were practically crying!" He rolled from Alfred's lap and clutched his stomach. "Omigod!"

Alfred stood, angry tears hot behind his eyes. "You are the worst boyfriend ever!" He snapped, punting Arthur in the side, making the Brit laugh more. "Shut up!" Alfred raised his voice. How dare Arthur scare him like that! The blond looked like he was mugged! Not to mention Alfred had no idea that he was gone made it worse!

Alfred stormed to the door, still fuming.

Arthur pushed to his feet and wrapped his arms around Alfred's strong middle. "Oh, come off it, Love." He nuzzled the spot between Alfred's shoulder blades. "It was just a joke."

"I don't care." Alfred mumbled. "It wasn't funny."

Standing on his tiptoes, Arthur kissed Alfred's ear. "Happy April Fools, Al."

"I hate you." The American turned and hugged his Arthur tightly, glad that he really wasn't dead.

Arthur giggled. "I love you too, Poppet."

**:D :) :D :) :D**

Author's note. Well, this is terribly late. Sorry! Phone issues and just. Gah. Anyway, if you have a holiday I don't know of since I'm American, message me the holiday, date and an explanation! Oh, and with these, if you want a certain pairing (hetalia only please) just mention it!


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